Skip to content

How do you communicate rejection?

“I don’t want to date anymore.”
“We’ve decided not to hire you.”
“I’ve decided not to buy your product.”
“I don’t want to hang out with you any more.”
“I want a divorce.”
“You didn’t win the contract.”
“You didn’t get the grant.”

It can be hard to say "no". Here are nine useful tips written by Jeremy Sherman, Ph.D. which might help you through this sometimes difficult process.

How to Say No Compassionately


Mindfulness is a practice that can help you in all aspects of your daily life.

Start appreciating life for what it is and what you have, instead of focusing on what you do not have or the changes you want to make. You may want to join a mindful meditation group to learn more about mindfulness, but in the meantime, consider trying one or all of these steps as a healthy start.

2 minute read by By Richard Taite

TOPEKA (KSNT) – New research is showing a significant connection between social media and unhappiness. The study finds that Facebook use is linked to serious depression, and even anxiety.

“They’ll really have no idea what’s going on behind their four walls. But they’ll assume that ‘wow their life looks great,’ and it makes them feel less than,” says Counselor Angela McClain.

It shouldn't come as any surprise, but your generosity is good for others and healthy for you!  Hoy por ti, mañana por mi.” I’ll do for you today what someone will do for me tomorrow. Paying it forward is a concept we can wrap our heads around but do you realize by giving to others we actually give even more to ourselves? Here is a great article written by Jessica Beltran M.S. that talks about how being generous boosts your happiness.   

Generosity: Help Others, Help Yourself

Who would have thought that giving could be a selfish act? 🙂  - Angela

Financial stress on individuals, couples, and families can quickly become overwhelming. Money problems can lead to severe depression, cause troubles in our relationships, and even tear families apart. It's important to get a grasp on your finances which can help reduce your stress. A good place to start is to think about your family’s financial goals. Think of where your money needs to go in the short and long term.  Be sure to take a good look at where you’re spending money now; devise a plan, and make a commitment to spend smarter and put more money into savings.  You will start to feel more confident when you don't have to worry about making ends meet at the end of every month. The first step and often the biggest step is to establish a family budget that allows you to keep track of your spending.  A well thought out, written budget can help guide you, like a road map, allowing you to prioritize your expenses and better control unnecessary spending.
Putting a budget in place can help you control your spending and achieve greater financial freedom. Here are a few ideas to help get you started that can help you take charge and reduce your financial stress. Total all of your (average) monthly income. This can include regular salary & wages, interest, income earned on the side, etc. Include your spouse's or partner's income.  Once you have a clearer view of your family's income, start tracking all your expenses over the month. Add up all of your reoccurring and predictable bills such as rent or mortgage, car payments, insurance, utilities, etc... Also, record variable expenses like food, clothing, personal care, gas, entertainment, etc... Try to capture every expense. If you find tracking your expenses difficult, use budgeting software, a spreadsheet, or even a budgeting app on your phone. Total and compare what’s money is coming in to what’s going out. The results may just surprise you if you haven't investigated your household finances for some time.  If you’re income is coming up short, you can try to either increase your income or reduce your expenses. Reducing expenses is often times the quickest and easiest way to make a change. Continue to trim expenses, and direct more money into savings and investments. Keep good records and track your results over time. Be sure to also put aside some extra for unexpected household expenses.  You can reduce or even be free of financial stress in your life. Knowing how to better align your spending habits with your budget and learning techniques to face your financial stress with confidence can make a big difference. Your mental health can play a big role in achieving your financial goals. Financial stress is hard to overcome for many because of the depression that comes along with it. The bigger the financial stress, the deeper the depression can become. This cycle is often difficult or even impossible to reverse without first treating your depression and improving your mental health. Your counselor can work with you to help overcome the negative cycle of financial stress and improve your personal outlook, getting you on the path of improving your financial outlook. - Angela

Marriage Counseling-

"Can you relate to this couple?"

Call me, I can help! (785) 228-5691

It's common for couples to reach an impasse and lose the ability to be vulnerable and trusting of one another. Couples and marriage counseling can make a real difference in a relationship that needs help or refocus. I use a caring approach and work with all couples to strengthen communication that might have, over time, eroded the quality of their interactions. Contact me today for a free initial marriage counseling consultation. - Angela

WHO DOES WHAT... in the world of mental/behavioral health and addictions? The role of your professional counselor.
I have been asked several times whether I have appointments available to see a client because he or she is out of medications or no longer has a doctor who prescribes him or her medications.  I am always patient and try to take the time to explain to the individual exactly who I am and what I can or cannot do because it is confusing.
I decided I would take some time now and answer the mysteries of who does what in the world of mental/behavioral health and addictions.
I start by explaining that the only providers who can prescribe medications are medical doctors and some nurse practitioners; this includes, but is not limited to Primary Care Physicians (family doctors), Psychiatrists, Nurse Practitioners etc.
Social Workers, Clinical Social Workers, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselors, and Licensed Professional Counselors are Master's level providers/clinicians who provide individual, couples, family, and group therapy.  Some of these licensed providers also conduct substance abuse and other addictions evaluations to identify the appropriate level of care for an individual ie. residential treatment, outpatient, or intensive outpatient treatment.  These providers use talk therapy; processing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors; incorporate psychoeducational materials; as well as incorporate homework assignments into the individual's treatment to increase participation, insight, and growth.
Psychologists have obtained their Doctorate degree; this does not make them a physician, it means that this person has went to school pass the Master's level and received a doctoral degree.  Psychologists generally provide many of the services that Master's level clinicians do, but also have specialized training in performing psychological testing for clients.
The most important thing to know and look for is a provider, clinician, or physician that meets your needs and places your care as their priority.  Some people NEED medication to help manage symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder, ADHD, Bipolar, or Schizophrenia, however, the client/patient can reach higher levels of success and stability by participating in therapy/counseling services.
I hope this is helpful to you.  Just please remember that by working together, amazing change CAN happen!
Angela D. McClain

Good day all-
So happy you stopped by Firm Foundations Counseling's website.  Wow, that was a mouthful, huh?  This gives us a great opportunity to become introduced with one another and everyone who knows me, knows I love meeting new people.  I am one that truly feels/believes it is a blessing when others allow me into their lives, so always be assured that you are the priority!!
When thinking about what to post on my blog, many topics came to mind; however, one topic that really struck me as extremely interesting and important to address focuses on all the individuals I have met, interacted with, or even hear about that have either had negative experiences with a therapist (past or present), felt that they get or have gotten nothing out of counseling, or those that have never even tried counseling for whatever reason i.e. stigma, not feeling it's a priority, etc.
I think many of us have had negative thoughts, feelings, or even past experiences regarding therapy/counseling; maybe even now, you're working with a therapist who you don't feel is a good 'fit' or helpful to you.  Therapy/counseling CAN definitely be a beneficial, effective addition to your growth, stability, and recovery process, but it takes commitment, support, encouragement, and someone that cares enough to challenge you.  Yes, I said challenging someone in our lives comes from caring and believing that this person CAN and WILL rise above all of the 'junk' we so often refer to as our lives.  Therapy/counseling can be effective for a wide array of challenges including depression, sadness, hopelessness, anxiety, fear, feelings of loss and grief, trauma, abuse, addictions, codependency, behavioral issues, schizophrenia, bipolar; you name it, the list goes on and on; however, the biggest thing to remember is that it starts, continues, and ends with YOU!!  It starts with you opening your mind to the possibility that there are therapists/counselors who are effective, are interested, and truly feel/believe it is a privilege to have you as his or her client.  Mental health, behavioral health, substance abuse, other addictions, relationships, etc. are vitally important aspects of all of our lives and SHOULD receive the attention they deserve, because without emotional, psychological, behavioral, and relational stability and security, nothing can remain balanced.  Always remember that YOU ARE SO VERY IMPORTANT and deserve the best care possible.  If you aren't receiving what you need or deserve, search for someone who can meet your needs because the focus shouldn't be on the therapist/counselor's business, it SHOULD be on you...ALWAYS!  Thank you for taking the time to read my posting.  More postings will follow on a regular basis with resources, advice, links, and of course, receiving and answering any questions you might post on my website.  I would love to have you ask questions because if you are questioning something, there's a good chance that someone else is questioning it as well.
Have a great day!!!  Talk with you soon.  Angela

NOW OPEN! Firm Foundations Counseling -  Therapy for couples, individuals, and families. Your premier source for compassionate and caring mental health services in Topeka Kansas.


At Firm Foundations Counseling,  I am  dedicated to client satisfaction, and my flexible appointment options make it easy to schedule a session. I am committed to your treatment and specialize in a friendly and attentive approach, which means you can feel comfortable in my office.  I use research-based interventions and approaches, with services that include:

  • Treatment for anxiety and depression
  • Parent, child, and family counseling
  • Christian or general counseling
  • Trauma and grief therapy

I am very much looking forward to walking alongside you in your road into and through recovery! Take that first step, and schedule your appointment today (785) 228-5691

Angela D. McClain M.S. , LCPC, T-LAC